Last 2007 Blog

Whew, what a busy holiday season! If you love, love, love the Christmas season, you are likely not married to a pastor. Ha ha!! I love it, although it has become quite the juggling act with church related events and services. Throw in a coupla of funerals and a wedding and well, you'll just never see your pastor husband anywhere near the homestead. I love Christmas, but it's always a relief when its over and life returns to normal.

This blurb is intended just to be a quick update on where Ben is at. Ben has constant support win the form of a behavioural therapist, tutor, skills trainer and autism specialist. To date, Ben has been able to return to school (during the Christmas break with no students present) and fulfill a 4 hour day. Next week, we will work him up to a 6 hour school day so that hopefully, he'll be ready to resume to some regular classes Jan. 14, 2008 when the rest of the students return from break. It's definitely a miracle that helped him get to where he is now. He still faces daily struggles and continues to deal with compulsive behaviour, though less frequently than in the past. What can I say but, God is good.

A very Happy New Year to everyone of you!

ps. Special "Alohas" go out to the Makarusa bunch...we can't wait 'til the next conference! I met Amy N. on Saturday.

Catching Up

Well Ben has been home for almost a month now, the 10 lbs. lost regained and generally walks around with a smile on his face. A welcome relief from the anguish he had earlier from losing control of his thoughts. Life is slowly returning to normal. A home bound program has been initiated to return Ben to normal life as a student, complete with homework. The ultimate goal is to return him to the school setting....baby steps are being taken in that direction. The Christmas school break usually means freedom and travel for most kids; for Ben it means daily schooling and continued work at transitioning back into grade 7. Ambitious...it seems to me...but the transition team says he is ready.

The tree is up and decorated, the gingerbread house candied up and the presents are wrapped. All that is missing is the lovely layer of fresh sparkly, fluffy snow. We have had precipitation though, and quite regularly I might add. We've enjoyed one sunny day since about November 26. The rains are torrential and our town has had numerous flash flood warnings. Not to worry though, our home is on a hill and we are sitting pretty high and dry.

As the housing market continues to soften, we are once again keeping our eyes peeled for a starter home. Even with the market the way it is and low interest rates, it seems inconceivable how we could ever make this happen for our family. Home ownership seems increasingly elusive and has provided hours of frustration to our tired little family. In faith we remind ourselves that God will provide a healthy and relaxing home for the pastor and his family.

Alyson continues to do well and has 100% record of completing homework. She has won several awards for continued good work. Next week she heads out to the movies with a few other classroom "smarties". Last reward was dinner out with the teacher and frog catching at his taro patch, a classic reward passed down from generations (okay maybe not generations) and eagerly anticipated by anyone lucky enough to end up in Mr. Hashimoto's class.

Ed continues to burn the candle at both ends. Work for him right now is non-stop and family life including him is also elusive. With Christmas hot on the tail of Thanksgiving, he won't be breathing until the new year. Pray for continued health for him. Stress and pressure of the season (and regular church life work) certainly takes its toll on the diabetic part of his body.

Laurie is struggling to regain a sense of self following 2 months in Honolulu. My childcare stint complete with tiny income with baby Kyan was cut short by the recent "vacation" to Queen's Hospital. Unable to work and tired of cleaning only to turn around and find a giant mess created by the menehune in my home. Funny how nobody ever claims responsibility for all the stuff laying around. I am however, excited to say that following our income tax filing last year, (we haven't actually received our refund yet...oh well, maybe next year) I received an ITIN number. I was finally able to take that number to the bank and no, not actually get an account.... but become a joint account holder with Ed!!! A year and a half later. I got my name on official bank account paper. Up until now, they would not issue me anything...no debit cards, no check cashing cards, no bank cards whatsoever because I didn't exist. And now with the ITIN number, I'm a real person. A real live person. I am so happy that I'm alive now... because before I wasn't...I guess. But hey, I am getting a debit card in the mail soon. That should take about a month. Nothing happens fast here.

Ben's a Free Man!

HALLELUJAH!!! Ben was discharged on Thursday, Nov. 15 from the Family Treatment Center at Queen's Hospital in Honolulu, Hawaii. Wow, how much more formal can we get! He was extremely excited to "break out" and roasted in our rental car for 45 minutes while I packed up the apartment and checked out. Although he is healthy enough to no longer require 24 hour medical observation, he still struggles daily with anxiety and OCD. Ed and I were thrilled to bring him home, but there is still some apprehension on our part. We are now completely responsible for helping him cope and in the continuation of teaching him his own coping techniques. This week we have minimal assistance with Ben but that will increase next week. We will have a team consisting of a autism specialist, family guidance counsellor, psychiatrist, school psychologist, and working directly with us will be a skills trainer, home bound teacher and behaviour specialist. We have an amazing program set up and are just waiting to plug people into it. The woman who will be our skills trainer is in Israel and she returns at the end of this week. When she returns, it is all systems go! I'm confident that the team will meet Ben's needs and that he will be able to quickly catch up with his peers, academically.

Life is returning to normal (can it be true? is it really? am I dreaming?) and it feels so good to be back home and together again as a family.

Coming Home...I Hope

If all goes as planned, I will be bringing my large bundle of boy home this weekend. The doctor's say, he is as ready as he'll ever be. We are still waiting for temporary home bound assistance until longer term ones are found. Hopefully, the OCD will not do too much damage to Ben in a week's time. This is how long we anticipate having no assistance. Well, if anything unforeseen happens or he takes a turn for the worst, at least we know the ropes and have made the relationships. Thank goodness for that! The initial trauma I wouldn't wish on anyone.

Thank you for the hugs (real and cyber). Please continue on the journey with us a little while longer as we transition him back home and into a home bound school setting. Love to you all.

Ben Update

As my friend Xiam suggests...it's been a week Buller, what's the news?

The 4 day pass went well this last weekend although on Monday and Tuesday, Ben was noticeably in need of structure. Behavioural issues that had popped up on Sunday, reared their ugly heads on Monday and Tuesday. There were several threats to return "the child" to the ward early. It wasn't really a threat though. The staff had notified us that if he got to be too hard to handle, we were welcome to send him back. It did enter our minds more than once though. And we were instructed to use it as a tool to curve behavioural issues. Strict limits had to be set. Expectations had to be VERY clear. Yes, there were tears. Ben was so mad at me, he jammed his foot between the wall and the bed and got it stuck! I held my ground and eventually he loosened his leg and followed through on the instructions.

Things continue to go well. Ed and I are learning which actions to take and when with Ben. Ben is essentially well enough to come home (PRAISE JESUS!!) but at present, we have no support structure in place. We have a program for him to come home to, but we are waiting for a skills trainer and home bound teacher to plug into the program. The hospital will not release him until they are convinced that we have strong support in place in the home.

So ideally it looks like Ben will be on his way home in the next week or so. It is so hard to believe! What a long road!

From Hospital to Apartment Dweller

Ben had a fabulous weekend at home celebrating his birthday. His eyes were saucers when he entered our home on Thursday...fresh from a hospital breakout to his 13th birthday party. Grandma Warkentin was on hand and with Alyson, decorated the home to welcome his return and celebrate his big day. Ben had pre-ordered a steak dinner with potatoes and caesar salad and a large flat chocolate cake from Costco. He ate until he was a stuffed little turkey... although, after the initial gushing and oohing and aahing over the chocolate cake...he had absolutely no interest in eating it!!! Not even a bite! What a little turkey!

The weekend went very well. His OCD tendencies and anxieties seem to improve with each weekend home and we were all very pleased with how well things had gone. He woke up Sunday with a smile, ran down to church and manned the A/V booth. After the service, he called down to me...in smiles...and waved. Happy to be back at home. He did, however, get 'stuck' in the booth and could not exit the room without encouragement and prompting from mom.

To his credit, Ben also made a huge step on Sunday. For weeks he had watched another little boy on his ward go home for the evening and return the next morning for day treatment. He occasionally would bring this concern up to me..."why can't I do that? Mom, I would sleep SO much better if I could stay with you at the apartment." I just assumed this was an appropriate measure taken by the hospital staff for this little boy's particular condition. Well on Sunday...before leaving for the airport to return to Honolulu, Ben resolved himself to ask the doctors if this would be an option for him. To his joy (and his parent's surprise), they agreed with him that it would be an appropriate thing for him as well. So as of Sunday, Ben has been sleeping with his dad at the apartment and returning in the early morning for his daily treatment. When asked how he slept that night...he said, "Oh Mom, it was amazing. I had the best sleep ever!"

Friday, on my way home from a team meeting at Ben's school, I realized just how truly blessed we are. The road's been tough, but the journey amazing. We have been overwhelmed by the support we have received, by the number of people all over the world that have heard our story and have told us that they are praying for our family. And by God's people and their willingness to donate financially so that we don't have to struggle, while we struggle! I am once again reminded that God is a BIG God and has BIG plans for everyone of us. I know, in my heart, that this experience will not only shape us as a family, but is a crucial part of Ben's development as a young teen and as a child of God.

Thanks for coming along on the ride with us. I think you can loosen your crash helmet!! (At least I hope so...please.... God?)

You Sunk My Battleship

Okay...well...I know, I know...it's been a whole week. I can't decide whether I am slipping or whether there's just not much to report. The way I see it...that's not exactly a bad thing. Are we falling under the age-old adage of 'no news is good news?' I think we might be. Honestly, Ben is doing quite well. He looks great, is eating pretty normally and has a very positive outlook on life. Not to say ihe isn't still struggling. That fact remains. The normal everyday struggles of sitting in contaminated chairs, holding a pencil when it's not "school time" and just a general "ants-in-the pants" demeanor. This child cannot sit still for any length of time, which makes it increasingly difficult to maintain any sort of meagre conversation with him. We had a very pleasant visit last evening. After many pleadings on my part to "just please sit down", we retreated to the play room in the ward and played a mean, competitive game of "Battleship". Oddly enough, I lost the game even though I had the extreme advantage of seeing Ben's board every time he flipped it over. I had to maintain some sort of integrity and decorum (as a parent of a child in the hospital), by continuing to play the game out as if I had seen nothing at all. It was tough but I'll live. Ben was thrilled to have won. I won the game just by sharing a smile and a laugh with the greatest son around. The evening ended with prayers and hugs (as it ends every evening) and a promise to see each other again tomorrow.

Ben was so sweet as he sacrificed his afternoon visit with me and allowed me to spend some time with friends on the tour of the Arizona Memorial. Mark and Megan flew to Honolulu with Mark's mom from California and invited me on a "touristy" outing with them. The morning began with an early morning pickup in a "DucK" which is an amphibious vehicle previously used in the Honolulu harbour for transporting ammunition from boat to land. And as I learned, that's where the term "sitting duck" comes from.... AAH.....you say...that was an "aha" moment for me as well. The morning was filled with outdoor displays of giant missiles including a one-man Japanese suicide missile, a rescue chamber for those pesky bottom-of-the-sea submarine rescues, and naval gunner type stuff (sorry...I don't know what you call it). Ooh, my pacifistic veins are quivering!! Of course, as with all tours, costs were extra to see the USS Blowfin and USS Missouri, the submarine and battleship that were rescued after the fateful day of bombing in Pearl Harbour. (December 7, 1941.... of course, all you history buffs knew that though...didn't you??!!) I had to write it in so that I WOULD remember! Needless to say, we did not see the submarine and battleship up close and personal but chose instead to view the short film on Pearl Harbour. This was followed by a short ferry ride, and we were at the Arizona Memorial which was erected in memory of those who died during the surprise attack. The actual memorial is built over top the sunken battleship (I can't remember which one). We peered over the edge, and a murky eery shadow of an earlier era appeared below the surface. Rusty columns perched atop the water are the only immediate visual reminder of the watery tomb. Thousands of men died that day and some still rest on the ocean floor in 'eternal service' to their country.

And so it was interesting enough that Ben and I chose to play battleship the day before I visited the Memorial. As I pondered the chaos and destruction caused by the brass tipped missles, I reflected on the innocence of the game as I played it with Ben the night before. Not so innocent. And then I thought...why does society romanticize war, death and destruction? Why make a game out of it? Why do all nursery rhymes stem from the Black Death or some sort of other plague or poisoning that brings about suffering? What about....Wee Willie Winkie...Ring around the Rosy...Rock-a-bye Baby and other nursery rhymes that developed and evolved after such deadly eras. What kind of a sick people are we anyways??

With that rant out of the way...I am no closer to the answer... but have chosen to ponder on the lesser questions of life...why have all of the birds on this hospital property lost all their toes on one foot?? They have one little grey stub and one healthy foot. What happens to these little digits? Does the resident cat nibble on them when they're not looking? How does a bird with wings to fly, lose its little toes?

I'd be just as happy to have that one questioned answered.


ps. I forgot to add, Ben is being allowed a 4 day pass this weekend as he celebrates his 13th birthday tomorrow!! Hip hip hooray!!!

The Good...and the Bad

Yippee, Yee-Haw and general Hooray!!!

Ben was allowed to escape the ward and fly home to Kauai this past Saturday and Sunday!! For the most part, all went well. Saturday was a day of cranial confusion and Ben's brain immediately 'tried' to slip back into some old and nasty OCD habits. Habits once conquered on the ward in Queen's now presented themselves in the home environment and the transferability of Ben's coping mechanisms required alot of careful watching and encouragement on mom and dad's part. Sunday flew by almost like a breeze...Ben entered the church early to avoid the 'rush of the crowds' and planted himself in the Audio/Visual Booth for the entire service where he belongs. He exclaimed how great it felt to be back on a computer!

Returning to Honolulu on Sunday evening presented no great problems as Queen's Hospital has become somewhat of a safe place for him. The days continue to go well and small baby steps continue to be made. The leaps and bounds of earlier days are gone, but we are thankful that there continues to be improvement daily.

Tuesday morning saw support staff from Kauai meeting in conjunction with the nursing staff for a giant conference to start building bridges for Ben to return to the island and return to school. At the meeting, it was noted by the Hospital Clinical Psychologist, that under extensive testing, Ben scored a whopping 90/100 in his RCMA's! Okay, I felt like whooping it up....that's MY boy...he's a brainiac....oh yeah!....uh ha....okay...no, stop...really... it's not a good thing, i found out. The normal is less than 60. RCMA's stand for Revised Children's Manifest Anxiety Scale. This means that the anxiety that is plaguing Ben was absolutely through the roof. Out of 100 classic anxieties/concerns/ worries, he has a staggering 90 of them!!! Apparently the psychologist feels that he is so anxious about his family unit, and his mom and dad, that he is being hijacked to perform ridiculous rituals so nothing bad will happen to us!! I was stunned....I mean i knew that he always said "I have to do this or something bad will happen" but I never thought he was relating it to our safety. That was a tough one for me. For someone so innocent and young to be consumed about his mom's and dad's well-being.

We do have some good news and some bad news....

GOOD: Ben's doctor's are encouraging as much time at home as possible. This means that Ben will fly home every Friday and back to Honolulu every Sunday evening.

BAD: Ben's in-hospital treatment on Oahu will continue into the middle of November. Any hopes of bringing him home by Oct. 25 were shot out the window at yesterday's meeting. Phooey...

For now, it's business as usual and I'm off for a walk to see a close up/ inspectional display on the masks from the Broadway show, "The Lion King". I am hoping to see elaborate and intricate designs in the masks of Simba, Mufasa, Scar, Nala and Zazu.

A Hui Hou!!

Homecoming....of sorts

I am at home resting after a week-long chest cold....those nasty things here in Kauai head straight for my lungs before I even know it. This means it has been almost a full week since I have been able to see Ben. As I am the 'Keeper of the Blog", it seems to have put me into a sort of disadvantaged place to comment...but well....here goes.......

Ben has appeared to have reached a plateau in his progress. The last month brought a short series of ups and downs but with a marked improvement and we began to recognize the boy who is the Ben we know and love!! Thank you to the Healer. The next step to improvement is seemingly requiring alot more encouragement and mental gymnastics as we try to remain one step ahead of his conniving OCD.

Saturday, Ben and Ed return to Kauai for a weekend pass. Ben is anxious to attend church for "a few minutes". For our loving KMC family...know that Ben will physically look well and hopefully he'll be in good spirits. Please feel free to love him gently but not overwhelm him. We are hoping to create as natural an environment for him as possible. If you already have a relationship with him...please be natural in your conversation.....but if I may request.....this is not the time to initiate relationships in effort to support him. This may overwhelm him if too many people approach him to ask him 'how he is'.

As mentioned earlier, Ben looks physically well but is struggling mentally with delusional thoughts that affect and interefere with his day-to-day living. Please know that whatever we say to him (such as helping him talk back to thoughts) comes as a result of many meetings with psychiatrists and support staff and is meant to help him progress in his fight against OCD.

If there are no blips and if things progress as scheduled, Ben will return to Queen's on Sunday.

I Hate Stress

I've been very hesitant to update....it's now Tuesday and I am sick at home with a nasty chest cold. I'm embarrassed to say all I know is that Ben is doing well but that he's had some "funny" days as his dad reports. When Ed visits Ben during visiting hours, Ben's mind always seems to be on something else. Books, tv, nintendo are all taking priority over actually visiting with Dad. Poor Ed is feeling a bit slighted. I am cheering...after all, isn't that how a normal 12 year old boy is supposed to act?

Here is the reason for my hesitancy....Saturday we were blessed with 8 rapturous whole hours outside the hospital with Ben!!! We toured the Aloha Tower and the Marine Museum where they have a rare skeleton of an enormous Blue Whale. All was going well...until the accumulating stress of the last few months chose to rear its ugly head between Mom and Dad. Oh, what bad timing!! It seems a volcano was made of an ant hill and things just erupted into a mean full blown argument. Oh...the shame!!! Why couldn't it have picked a better time? We were out with our whole family for just 1 day. ONE DAY!! Boy, Satan was just picking on us! The last 3 hours or so (we hang our heads) was a bust. Ben was extremely gracious in his attempt to mediate but alas, Mom's hormones made her grumpy. Need I say more??

A Better Day

Well Ben was released into our care from 12 - 4 pm. yesterday. Mom and Dad were a little nervous because of his recent setback, but in a direct answer to prayer, Ben bounced right back and is doing quite well again. Ah...this roller coaster of life. As my friend Tamara put it..."Why does this life have to be so hard?"

We spent a quiet afternoon together with Ben after dropping Alyson off at the Ice Palace with some friends. Believe it or not....they do have an ice skating rink on Oahu...but I'd bet the farm that the arena temperature wasn't as cold as the rinks back in Canada. It felt a little too comfortable in there with my shorts on!!

Ben coped well in the outside world with only little glitches/ anxieties to work through. It was a very special time filled with laughter and honestly, just plain relief at having some normalcy in our lives.

This afternoon, Aly and I went to visit Ben and had fun playing together. A huge praise item is that Ben was finally able to play Nintendo. Now normally, I would not be cheering for this, but because of his sensory issues and anxieties, Ben has not been able to touch/pick-up a phone, remote, computer keyboard or anything else for the last 2 months. Yesterday, he fixed a remote control (that another patient had thrown against a wall and broke) and today he showed me the video game that he was playing earlier!!! THIS IS REALLY HUGE!!!! I don't like Nintendo but I love what it is currently able to bring out in my son.

Now THIS is more like it!!

How Much Can It Hold?

Nobody has ever measured, not even the poets, how much the heart can hold. ~Zelda Fitzgerald

This quote was sent to us by some wonderful friends from the Makarusa Missionary Church. It really struck me as it encapsulates how Ed and I feel on a day to day basis.

We've had so many challenges these last few weeks...and have also successfully realized the payoffs of hard work. And then...these last few days....oy....Ben experienced a dramatic regression. The delusional thoughts came back and along with them, the entrapment of a 12 year old boy ensnared by an illogical brain. With no warning, we were back to square one. ARG.........WE HAD MADE SUCH GOOD PROGRESS!!

Oh God, how many times Lord, can we cry out...

With the Risperdal once again administered and the fight back on, Ben and his parents are learning (it is SO hard) to fight back against the taunts of OCD in its severest form. He has to learn to label OCD as the "bad part" of his brain and verbally talk back to it telling it to go away. Once he can successfuly overcome these horrible thoughts presented by OCD, he can overcome its lies.

Ben was scheduled for a 4 hour outing this afternoon with our family, but the nursing staff are currently unable to confirm the physician's request. With the regression, we don't know if it will be honored. And so at this point we don't know if he'll be able join us outside the hospital.

As for Alyson, we are enjoying our time with her. Yesterday, she and I went to the Honolulu Zoo and Aquarium for the afternoon to relax and forget about life for awhile. Today...well...we were hoping to complete the family with a fun afternoon. That remains to be seen.

Ben

Our afternoon visit with Ben was cut short by a meeting with the psychiatrist working on Ben's case. She invited him to attend so he could spend time with us on the condition that he would sit in a certain chair (one that reminded him of school). Even his desire to be with us couldn't overcome the fear he had of sitting in that chair and 50 minutes went by without him. We could hear him crying in the other room but the psychiatrist was very firm with him....in effort to help him face and overcome his fears.

We were left with a short 10 minute visit with our very unhappy son.

On the bright side, a friend of ours flew Alyson to Honolulu so she could be with us during the week long fall break. We are excited to be reunited with her!!

Another Update

Well guess what? My brain suddenly cleared from the fog....and...I had an epiphany!! There is a medical library on campus, that guess what....has internet access!!! You guessed it. It sure took me long enough, but there should be no excuses now!! I am one smart cookie...when my brain isn't tired and full.

Benjamin has had several good days in a row now. His personality is starting to return and he is joking/teasing his mom and dad, and the staff. It is wonderful that the staff is beginning to see the fun and gentle pre-teen that he truly is. He is eating, drinking, showering, talking, opening doors...all those things we take for granted were a struggle for him. Now he is able to do them normally. He is still having difficulties with school associations, both verbally and physically. He cringes at the mention of school, pencil, classroom, etc. and his hand is "paralyzed" and literally useless for the rest of the day if it even so much as touches a pencil. Sitting on certain chairs is hard, as well as entering specific rooms such as the sensory room on the ward. He still has quite a severe and active head bob/tic and we are hoping that those will decrease as his exposure to things increases.

He looks good and says he feels great! He has mentioned to me that the prayers of God's people are working. We encourage you to continue praying up until his release and until his transfer home has been completed successfully.

Saturday we had a tiny scare in that the nurses overdosed him on the anti-psychotic drug, Risperdal. The drug is supposed to relieve the bad/illogical thoughts in his brain. With the accidental overdose, came a temporary condition called "Dystonia" where his muscles in this left arm and neck contracted and moved involuntarily. It was off set by an administration of Benadryl and so far, has had no lasting effects.

We are looking forward to next week as Alyson has fall break (one week off), and she will come to Honolulu to stay with us. Ben has promised to work hard and in turn, we are hoping that the doctor's will grant him a few hours outside the ward to head to the zoo or waterpark for some family fun .

Our goal is to have Ben healthy enough to be released by his birthday, which is Oct. 25. Of course, we are hoping for sooner but to ease any further disappointments, we are thinking worse case scenario.

Again, I cannot say enough how much your prayers mean to us!! I cannot imagine going through this alone, and with no hope or Jesus in our hearts. How do non-believers do it?

Another Good Day

Short and sweet today...Ben was able to go to class (on the psych ward) and complete his assignments in class, slept well, ate and drank to the staff's satisfaction, made his own lunch with the other children...pizza ... AND... offered to make another for the staff!! That's huge!!

I think the meds are kicking in!!!

Thank you...Jesus!!

A Good Day...it's a Relative Thing

A good day for others might be a job promotion, raise, visit from an old friend, or just...no problems to deal with, at work or home.

Yesterday, Ben had a good day. For him that means he was able to put on sweats, brush his teeth, open a door and sat on a chair for 5 minutes!!! Oh yeah baby, FIVE!! Good?...well GREAT I'd say...let me tell you...this kid forged mountains yesterday!

What seems oddly enough like an everyday-don't-even-think-about task has literally become an obstacle for Ben. He was unable to sleep the other night because his couldn't lie down on his bed. Someone else had touched it. He stood all night and went without sleep. He was very pale and exhausted yesterday when we visited him. It was all I could do to prevent myself from scooping him up and taking him home.

The other night after a second dose of the anti-psycotic medication...Ben looked at us in fear, tears rolling down his pale cheek...and burst out "something's wrong, something's really wrong in my head." I have to say, I kind of got worried about a drug interaction but the symptoms decreased and he was much calmer (though anxious and exhausted) yesterday.

I flew home this a.m. for a brief 30 hours or so to welcome Grandma and arrange the home for her to take care of Aly. I am flying back to Honolulu Friday evening to relieve Ed so he can return to Kauai and preach on Sunday.

Baby steps and small mercies.

Ben Update

I apologize for the lapse in blogging, but it has been near impossible to connect to the internet for almost a week. Praise God we were able to resolve that today!

Sept. 11, after a traumatic flurry of events (including an MRI and Pediatric Neuro Consult--all normal, no organic explanation for the symptoms) Ben was admitted to the Child Psychiatric ward in Queen's Medical Center, Honolulu. It's aptly named the Family Treatment Center. He was admitted under the diagnosis of psychosis, acute anxiety and OCD. It is a locked unit with many rules and regulations but the staff seem knowledgable. It was hard at first to be denied access to our child and we were allowed to bend the rules initially but have now been restricted to visiting during the hours of 1-2 pm and 7-8 pm which is double the normal visiting hours.

After a week of not eating and drinking, we cheered as baby steps were taken with Ben's first sip of water. He was SO dehydrated and so dry. The physician's orders were to initiate an IV Bolus 3x/day and NG tube if liquids were not immediately ingested. At this time, the liquids remain an easier sell than food. His intake of the latter is still very minimal.

Today was a great day in the sense that Ben was able to have Prozac administered alongside an anti-psychotic drug named Rispiradol (?sp) that will help alleviate the delusional thoughts swirling around his brain. We were able to get him to eat honey ham today as well as 1 grape and 450ml of a nutritional fruit drink. He met his liquid quota for the day and we were extremely proud of him.

Our best case scenario for release would include a miracle...that would be release from the hospital in a weeks time. Ben is still considered acute and realistically will be in another 2 weeks. If things progress more slowly, he will be deemed a sub-acute case, and it may be another month or two before he is released. Of course, we are praying for the miracle.

A huge hug and thanks for those who have been faithfully praying for our family and supporting us in more practical ways. We cherish each and every one of you. To our family in Winnipeg and in the rest of Canada, we love you. Rest assured that we have friends that are family here that are constantly checking in on us. Three couples here alone in Honolulu have been tremendous in their support for us.

Please continue to pray to the Healer, and Calmer of Ben's fears. Pray for sleep for Ben as his nights have been hard. Pray for strength and clarity of mind for his exhausted parents.

We love you all.

Hug

2:30 in the morning and I am woken from my slumber by cries of "Help me, Help me...I need someone". Fearing that Ben had awoken from his sleep and was now plagued with thoughts swirling around in his mind, I bolted from the bed and bent down over his towel wrapped body on the living room carpet. I said "Mommy's here Ben, how can I help you?" His bleary voice replied, "I just needed a hug. I had a bad dream." My heart touched by a simple need, a smile drawn to my lips, and I was more than willing to respond to his feeble request. I whispered "You can call me anytime for one of those. Do you need anything else?" He sleepily responded, "I'm okay now thanks."

Anytime Ben.

When it Rains....

Wouldn't you know...it just doesn't stop!

Right on the heels of our "relaxing" weekend, Ben and Ed were both diagnosed with swimmer's ear. With Ben's adamant refusal to see the pediatrician, there came a flurry of 6 arms, 6 legs and additional body parts. Mom and Dad in a physical struggle to put shorts on Ben and literally throw the 12 year old over dad's shoulder and off away into the van. The brain is continuing to play its sordid tricks on Ben and as they drove away, I watched Ben repeatedly try to open the van door so he could leap out. My heart raced, then sank....I hoped the child locks were on.

Diagnosis confirmed and at 4 drops/3x a day, Ben's small life box is getting even smaller. His mind has tricked him into believing that he cannot eat or drink after the administration of any kind of medication...whether it's eye cream, ear drops, or oral suspension. The ear has to be healed by sedation for the MRI on Tuesday and so the struggle begins. The ear drops go in....and all logic goes out. Ben no longer eats lunch or supper and hasn't for the last 2-3 days. All food and drink after 9 a.m. is taboo. He eats 2 bowls of cereal before 9 in the morning. That is his last meal/liquid of the day for the next 24 hours. This is obviously a huge concern for us. If this continues, we will have no choice but to hospitalize him.

3 more sleeps until the MRI on Oahu. We are praying to be able to get on the plane without too much difficulty as Ben has been increasingly agitated and aggressive. With post-911 regulations and nervous airline employees, who knows what can happen.

Please continue to keep Ben and all of us in your prayers.

Waipouli ReVisited? Not any time soon.....

A long awaited weekend of fun and relaxation at the newest Waipouli condo resort in Kapa'a, took an interesting turn. (The resort is gorgeous by the way. We got the cheapest room and I thought they'd made a mistake and given us the wrong room).

Let's just start out by saying...I don't think the meds have kicked in yet...

We thought that getting Ben away from everything would help relieve his symptoms. Unfortunately the opposite was true. The resort was a minefield...of triggers....just like our lives everyday have become. Imprisoned to a certain spot in our living room, Ben is a prisoner of his mind in our own home.

The exits signs around the resort property, the kids in the pool, too many people...too many people...panic attacks....bathing 8-10 times/day, the exhaustion of not being able to sit down anywhere, anytime...the barrage of new lighting, sounds, odors, and illogical thoughts whirling around his teenage brain...another panic attack...the inability to use a different toilet in a new room....can't sleep on the bed, can't sleep on the floor....can't wear my favourite sweats because they touched that chair and are now contaminated....can't open the door, any door....can't bathe by myself, can't get my own towel...and please, wrap it around me...i can't do it...it won't let me

Imagine living life this way. It's become every day life for Ben and for us.

And so the weekend adventure became a living hell for Ben and Ed. Ben would not accept help from me...only his dad and so a potentially relaxing time became very stressful for Ed. Ed and Ben returned home every evening to sleep and would return every morning in an effort for Ed to get some relaxation. It didn't really work out for them.

After much conversation and wondering if the weekend was even worth it, we felt that regardless of us, our Alyson needed a fun break and she and I spent alone time together while Ed worked with Ben.

How we longed for a respite worker!

The blood test results all came back normal and I cried. I know it's great news, but I was hoping for something legitimate to show and to back up our concerns.


ps. my apologies about the lack of photos. my digital camera died a quick but uneventful death. it is surprising how long it lasted after the near death drowning in Lake Winnipeg (Canada) several summers ago. R.I.P. my little canon.

Ben Update

Just a brief update on our son, Ben.

Further trips to the psychiatrist resulted in a tentative diagnosis which was confirmed today by a Naturopathic Physician....bet you've never even heard of it....it's pretty rare...did you expect anything less from the Bullers? It's called PANDA. That's right PANDA. What's THAT you say? That's what I said. Here goes....Pediatric Autoimmune Neuropsychiatric Disorder Associated with Streptococcal infections. Bet this will intrigue my friends in the Crossmatch Lab!!

Ben likely had an asymptomatic strep infection several months ago and it went systemic to the point where it crossed the blood/ brain barrier causing the basal ganglia in his brain to become enlarged and inflamed. The symptoms he is experiencing today is the natural body's reaction. The next question is... will an antibiotic help. Oh no, no, no. That would be too easy. Apparently no literature supports the administration of an antibiotic at this point. It would be useless.

We've added additional tests including an Anti-Streptolysin Titre which will confirm whether or not Ben's been exposed to Strep A in the past several months. We are still trying to finagle our way into an MRI on the 12th. However with this stinky US system, you can't put the cart before the horse and we are waiting approval from the insurance company.

The moral of our experience...get that sore throat checked out...swabbed and cultured (not just a streptex)....especially if your child is prepubescent! Heed my warning.

Ben

A wonderful trip home to Canada brought many surprises including our return home and the effect it would have on our 12 year old son. Benjamin was born with Asperger's and severe sensory defensiveness. As a result he's never been really good at peer relationships, fine motor activities, self-care and personal hygiene. During the trip home in July, we noticed some frequent handwashing going on. It seemed unusual, especially after he hugged or touched his mother.
Reluctant to go back to Hawaii and filled with anxiety, he made the trip and actually really did do quite well. Upon our arrival home and as the onset of a new school year approached, the frequency of the handwashing escalated to an uncontrollable degree. The middle school start up date of August 1st came and went and he was unable to begin a new school year.

Meeting after meeting, and appointment after appointment, and this is what we know... Ben has developed an acute and severe case of OCD. It has literally taken over his life and ours and has left him imprisoned in his own body. In a sense, his brain has been hijacked. Under advisement of a psychiatrist, we have initiated a treatment plan which includes the administration of an anti-anxiety/ anti-depressant drug called Lexapro. It takes 8 weeks to reach the desired effect. 2 weeks have gone by so far and no relief is in sight. The frequency of the handwashing has decreased although increased in length, and he has compensated the former with a painful looking head tic.

Blood tests are in the works...drawn this morning...tests for a complete chemistry panel, heavy metals panel (ie. for lead, asbestos, etc), a complete blood count and a celiac panel have been ordered (we threw the last one in for good measure as 4 out of 6 siblings in Laurie's family have recently been diagnosed with Celiac Disease - including Laurie). September 12th we head out to Oahu for a pediatric neurology consult and possible MRI to rule out any brain lesions. Our psychiatrist is concerned at the acuteness and severity of the symptoms and just needs to rule anything serious out.

It has been a difficult 3 weeks since we've returned home to Hawaii. We're feeling pretty helpless right now as we try to offer Ben some kind of relief. We have been offered placement in the adolescent psych ward on Oahu but.....yeah, okay really....over my dead body that's all I have to say.

Please pray that the rest of us can keep it together until the meds kick in, and pray that they will work.

Little Sumo

I thought I'd show off the newest little man in my life. This is Kyan and his mom and dad have asked me to watch him while they are at work. He's an absolute sweetheart, and seeing as how I can't be employed by any company yet...the answer was easy. Even after considering my present freedom with my own two children attending school full-time. (Okay...WHAT am I doing?) He is actually very, very good and happy, and I feel as if I am contributing in some small way to family finances.

I haven't figured out yet how this will affect my jewellry making with my girlfriend but we are taking things one day at a time. For now, Kyan and I are hanging out and getting to know each other. And it's bottles and diapers for me...once again. Hey...it's just like riding a bike.

Summer Vacation

Who do YOU know that lives in Hawaii and vacations in Winnipeg? The Bullers, of course.

After being delegates at a 4-day Missionary General Conference in Portland, Oregon (which was great and we met a group of amazing people that were new to the conference...like us!) we caught the early bird flight to Winnipeg via Denver. I immediately lost my husband to the Blue Bomber football game and I headed over to my sister's home for some family time and a time of re-uniting with the kids. After a family reunion supper (all of my siblings were there except one) and a coupla days rest, we packed up our stuff and headed out to the cottage for some relaxation and fun. My sister Betsy, and her family took a week off and came out to the cottage to help us play. We shared an adventurous week of boating, sea biscuiting, waterskiing, wake boarding, fishing and.... getting stuck on a deserted island (almost for the night). Now there's a story...

After receiving an invitation from friends to join them for a picnic on Dog Island, we packed up our bikinis and life jackets and sailed off into the sunset (almost literally). Singing to the tune (and I am NOT kidding...this really happened) of the Gilligan's Island theme song, Ed happened to mention..."isn't the wind picking up?" Our captain, Bruce, and our brother-in-law (and to be fair...the rest of us) thought it wasn't too bad and that we'd be okay. After travelling 6 miles NE of the end of Hwy 59 and Elk Island, we found Dog Island and set ourselves up for an afternoon of good fishing and fun. We found a slanted rock face (similar to the Whiteshell rock) and set ourselves down. Not thinking about the old adage "slippery when wet", we left our life jackets in the boat. Preparing for the afternoon, I set up our little area. With sunglasses, toilet paper and gluten-free cookies safely tucked away in a bunched up towel, sweet little Alyson had an idea and grabbed the towel to sit on. Sunglasses, toilet paper and cookies slid down the rock face....and poor little Alyson slid right behind them...in an attempt to retrieve them. In a panic, she slipped off the rock and splashed into the lake...her little heart worried about the lost items. She ended up in deep water, clinging to cookies and toilet paper...but had lost the glasses. My sister Betsy, quick on her toes...reached down to help rescue her and she bounced off the rock and slid in. Ed, not far behind, slipped and ended up in the water after the two. I ran screaming for help and life jackets. Our friend Ron brought a rope and once the water soaked dippers suited up, we pulled them to safety. Alyson is rescued first, sobbing over lake soaked cookies, lost sunglasses and soggy toilet paper. I, of course, am only concerned for her safety, Ed's and Betsy's as well. Everyone is safe, but wet...a huge sigh of relief... and a near tragedy averted.

Ben on the other hand had been successful in the fishing department and managed to reel in 2 sun bass, which we enjoyed as appetizers on the beach. A delicious meal followed and a bit more fishing and then it was time pack up the boats and head on back to shore. After a few minutes on the water, it was obvious that the wind had indeed, picked up, the swells too high making the trip too risky. On Ron's advice, we turned around and headed back to Dog Island. While we waited 2 hours for a calming of the lake we gathered driftwood and tinder and kindling for an evening fire and a possible overnight stay. The kids were worried about a possible overnight on the island and there were a few tears shed but we weren't really in any danger. We had food, water, firewood... just no comforts of home...no blankies....no pillows....no cozy warm pants or sweaters. It was looking to be an uncomfortable night. Ron (an experienced outdoors man) called the decision to spend the night and we started to hunker down and fend off the bugs. I took off for a sunset photo opportunity...looking to make the best out of it. Jeremy and Megan were sent out as a search party and brought me back to the beach. When we arrived, everyone was hurrying and packing up the boats....the lake had calmed a bit and we were gonna make another attempt before it was completely dark. The waters were rough, the swells 4-5 ft high and we prayed our cold, wet, little hearts out that we would make it home safely. A hot shower, a warm drink and soon it would all be just a memory....and a cool story to tell.

The second week of my vacation (Ed flew back to Hawaii after 1 wk), the kids and I spent time with grandparents and friends, I did some shopping and we even fit in a fun trip to Fun Mountain Waterslides and Riverwood Church Community.

What a great vacation!

Nirvana

While the mice are away, the cats will play!!

While Ben and Aly have fun in Winnipeg for the summer, Ed and I thought we'd have a little fun on our own. After a brief consideration of spending Ed's day off at home looking over our finances (ha ha), we decided to pack up and hit the road for the north shore with visions of snorkelling nirvanas dancing in our heads. We checked the surf report...calm and perfect (check), temperature...hot and sunny (check), snorkel gear and fins (check), sunscreen (check). Baby, we're on our way. A heavenly drive along the east and north shores of Kauai with the mysteriously absent presence of whining, crying, mumbling and complaining. Heaven it was! An hour and a half later we literally hit the end of the road and one of our first stops of the day....Ke'e Beach. For a whole year I have been dreaming about going to this majestic beach in the summertime. We'd been only in the winter during the dangerous winter swells when the ocean is extremely angry and extremely dangerous. In summer though, an entirely different beach...a calm, peaceful and strikingly gorgeous snorkelling haven....and best of all...across and over the reef...green sea turtles....as far as the eye can see. This is what I've been waiting for, a chance to swim with the wild endangered leatherback green sea turtle. Ed was skeptical at best but willing to amuse me and proclaimed "we'll do whatever you want dear". Oy, men. Well, how quickly he changed his mind! We rounded the reef and snorkelled to the other side...wait...what was that...a shadow...a big shadow...clearly not big enough to be a shark (thank you Jesus!) but perhaps a manta ray. Nope...you guessed it....turtles. Lots of 'em. They started popping up one after the other out of nowhere. Having their lunch and nibbling on the reef oblivious to the excitement they were causing. Careful not to touch them, we gently swam beside them, amazed at these beauties. Absolutely incredible. We were out maybe an hour and we wanted more, much more.

If not for the ocean break that we had to cross to get beyond the reef, we could've stayed all day. But alas, Laurie is not a swimmer (only a floater, and I didn't want to be a "floater" floater) and I soon became exhausted and we needed to head back to shore while I still had the energy.

After a brief break of sipping ice cold water we walked back to the car and sought out the elusive entrance to the famous Tunnels Beach. Parking was crazy!! We stopped and parked at Ha'ena Beach Park and walked a 1/2 mile down the beach to the snorkelling nirvana Ed was clearly in search of. We arrived at what Ed deemed the perfect spot. We were tired but determined to explore the aqua blue "nirvana". The water was as hot as a bath and almost offensive after the long sweaty beach hike, though it cooled off quickly the deeper we got. The reef there is quite large and teeming with all kinds of tropical creatures similar to the fish we see at Poipu. The reef formations however are more dramatic and definitely more outstanding in their color and formation. Certainly nothing as colorful and grand as the great Barrier Reef (I imagine) but you will see a rare purple and/or pink coral dotting the reef and tons of cauliflower coral and shimmering colored fish. The backdrop to this beach is absolutely spectacular with palms in the foreground and hovering mountains embracing the shore. A gorgeous, gorgeous beach and the perfect ending to a perfect day! It doesn't get any better than this!

Blahlah and Whatevahs!

What can I say? I've been a little negligent lately. It's been awhile since my last post and some of you are getting a little restless. There hasn't been a whole lot of excitement 'round these parts lately. Life is just kind of ho-humming along.

The children are gearing down to finish off their 2006-2007 school year. Ben will go on to grade 7 at Chiefess Kamakahelei and Aly on to grade 3 at the local elementary school. School, for the kids, is out on June 8. Seems early enough for most people to be jealous, but they start right back up again in July which is earlier than most. Just over 2 weeks to go until school ends! And Grandma Warkentin comes on Tuesday for a 3 week visit. After that, she will escort the children back to Canada for the summer. They are SO excited!! In early to mid-July, Ed and I will be attending a conference in Oregon for a few days and then we'll fly east to Winnipeg to pick up the children and fly back to Kauai. We'll probably seclude ourselves with family at the cottage. If you, especially our riverwood friends, are dying to see us... I'd suggest getting a bunch of people together for an evening of visiting. I apologize in advance but we WILL NOT have time for individual coffees. Our time in Winnipeg is sacred and very short.

Ed has returned home after a 2 week conference in the Black Hills of Keystone, South Dakota. After an initial concern of staying in a remote inn in the middle of nowhere, he settled in comfortably and had a fabulous time of refreshment and learning with the other missionary church pastors. The sessions were an intense full day work out but there was time to play. Thanks to Pastor Niles, Ed can now play the Hawaiian ukulele (commonly mispronounced you-ko-lay-lee). It's correct pronounciation is "oo-koo-lay-lee". Other notable moments were sightseeing and the National Day of Prayer Summit at the Mount Rushmore Monument. Once ridiculed and mocked for wanting to see Mt. Rushmore, Ed came home in apologetic fashion and promised never to ridicule me again for wanting to see the Black Hills. He was awed and inspired by the beauty of the Hills. Unfortunately, now it's back to the grind of sermon prepping, meetings and dealing with church issues.

I, sensing a lack of purpose in my life, (you can only be happy and unemployed...even on Kauai...for so long) shared my boredom with my awesome ladies bible study group. Within a couple of weeks I was asked to do childcare in my home for one of the ladies who is also a teacher in the local school and I started volunteering at my friend's home business making jewelry. We make earrings, bracelets, cell phone charms, and necklace pendant using fresh water, regular and stick pearls, glass beads, swarovski crystals, beads and shells. These are a few of the earrings that I have designed. She is getting some good reviews on my designs. She sells them in stores around the island and also at craft shows like at the one she had on Wednesday at the Kukuiolono golf course when special large groups of tourists come to play golf.

Hawaiian Pidgin Lesson of the Day:

1. Pau Hana - done work
2. Mauka - toward the mountains
3. Makai - toward the ocean
4. Ami - hula move (scrape the inside of a barrel with your hips)
5. Fo' real? - are you kidding me!
6. He go - that's good. it'll work.
7. If can, can. If no can, no can. - If you can do it, do it. If you don't have time, don't worry about it.
8. Whatevahs - whatever
9. Blahlah - blah, blah, blah

Other noteworthy news:

1. TODAY WE CELEBRATE 16 YEARS OF MARRIAGE!!!
2. EVERYONE CAN BREATHE A SIGH OF RELIEF AS ED HAS DECIDED TO SELL HIS MOTORCYCLE!! (I can hear Mom Warkentin across the Pacific Ocean saying "PRAISE BE"!!)
3. Prayer request for the Buller's as we try to buy a home/land and set down some roots. The parsonage is good for us but: too close to the church.........we won't build up any equity..........the missionary church does not have a good pension.......and we are not getting any younger. Housing prices here for anything decent (and i mean decent...nothing fancy but with 3 br and 2 bath) start at $700,000. We may actually do better if we build--barn-style raising way. We need a miracle!

Aloha 'til next time!!

Spring Break Honolulu-Style

Two weeks?!! For real? Spring break is two whole weeks!! That's right, in Hawaii... spring break lasts 2 whole weeks. Oy vay! Obviously, a mother didn't decide this! While 2 weeks can be a long time for any sane mother, on the other hand...it does lend to some creative travel time...IF one can afford it. 4 days and 3 nights (at the end of the 2nd week) in Honolulu cost us about $1000 and that was in one of the more economical hotels.

Upon arrival (a short jump...20 minute flight from Kauai) we shuttled ourselves to the National Car Rental (where we had earlier placed a bid on a mid-sized car http://www.priceline.com/ and had it accepted for $16/day) to pick up our anticipated lemon of a car. It's only a coupla days, we don't need anything very special. After the completion of the paperwork, we were offered a purple but very stylish....... Cadillac SRX SUV!!! We were astonished!! After picking our jaws up off the asphalt, we applauded our great fortune and jumped in the SUV. With leather lumbar seats adjusted to our spines and sunroof opened to the skies, we cruised east toward the Waikiki strip to check into our hotel for the evening. We were greeted upon arrival at the Alana Doubletree Hotel with huge, warm, fresh chocolate chip cookies. Nothing special to note about the hotel otherwise...it was nice and clean with a pool, and 2 queen beds in our room did the job.

Day 1

Hawaiian Waters Water Park...Kapolei

An awesome outdoor water park equivalent to that of the one in West Edmonton Mall but over a greater sq. ft. area and under a full hot sun. Oh and palm trees...the real kind. Our only major complaint was that the admission was $35.99/adult and $25.99/child for only 5 hours of pure unadulterated good clean fun. The park opened at 10:30am and closed at 3:30pm. Who closes a water park in the middle of a spring break afternoon? Especially in Hawaii??!!! Really big bucks for really short bang. Also no outside food is allowed into the park which means loooong lines and sloooow service. All in all we got in only about 8 rides during the day. Three before lunch, an hour or so to wait in lines for lunch and then eat, and then about 4 or 5 rides after lunch before closing. Fun...but definitely a rip-off. And worst of all...it got a F- for celiac friendly eats.

Day 2

Sea Life Park...Makapu'u

Oahu's equivalent to Florida's Sea World...just a wee bit downscaled and no...sob, sob...Shamu. But plenty enough to keep us entertained!! $15.62/ adult and $12.50/child...kama'aina rate. That's the local rate for residents. The park offers a variety of activities to participate in and of course...the interactive big sells were extra...swim with the sea lions, turtles, dolphins, sting rays...blah, blah, blah, whatever... for a mortgage refinancing type of price. We opted out of the pricey perks and headed straight for the "freebie"(already paid for) sea turtle, sea lion and dolphin exhibits. (Cheap Mennos!) Also included in park price were the sea lion, dolphin and sea life shows in the outdoor theatres. Under a hot and sunny sky, we sweltered, but the shows were fun and the kids really enjoyed them. The Kapolei sea life parkis located on the NE side of Oahu and boasts the one and only known "wholphin" in the world.

The wholphin is the result of a killer whale breeding with a dolphin, which apparently isn't supposed to happen...but on a starry moonlit sky with romantic music in the open ocean, who knows what can happen. Worth the money as it was fun, interactive without being too pricey (except the blah blah promotions) and educational...but again, a big fat F- for celiacs. But then...what did I expect? I need to carry a personal chef in my back pocket!!

Day 3

Honolulu Zoo...Waikiki, Honolulu

Our last and final day in Honolulu... sleeping in, swimming in the hotel pool, brunch at Denny's and a trip to the local city zoo. The orders for the day. Ahhhh, a nice relaxing way to end a short 3 day vacation. Honolulu Zoo, located at the end of the Waikiki Beach strip, has a reputation for being a fairly nice zoo and at $10/family (local kama'aina rate), I'd say the price was very nice indeed. Now...keep in mind that my biggest zoo adventures have occurred at the Winnipeg Zoo...but I'm telling you, this is one fabulous zoo!!! (especially for the price) Polar and black bears are replaced with hippos, rhinos, giraffe, alligators,and zebras all in a natural savannah-like setting. These bad boys are living the good life. Their habitats are a very lush and realistic, comfortable and natural setting reminiscent of the back 40 in Africa. It's so real that there was no...and I mean no... barrier between us and the rhino except a ditch, which I might add (from our viewpoint) didn't seem all that deep considering the size of the guy. And everywhere, there are these signs... a little disconcerting...after all, where DOES one go when there's a jailbreak and a rhino is hot on your heels??!! Not alot of barrier between us and the giraffes either. I'm thinking if they wanted out, they get out...nooooo problem. Offering us oodles of giggles, were the chimpanzees who seemed riled up about something. A lone male stood on the top of this huge rock. His cell mate didn't really like the looks of him and instigated a riot among 2 other chimps to take him off his high "horse". The instigator signalled the other two and synchronized an attack throwing him off the rock and chasing him around the compound in a chattering flurry of excitement. It was quite the show and interesting display of primal relationships.
The zoo took much more time to walk through than we had an anticipated but the savannah was an amazing journey through Africa (for those of us who will probably never get there) and it completed our little vacation. It was definitely an outing where there was something for everyone. And although Ben got very tired of walking, he was very brave and only complained near the end. A short stop for a bite to eat and then off to the airport to catch a home flight to Lihue, Kauai. After just getting started, our little time here is all done. : (

For Lia...King Crab

Just outside my front door facing west is a quiet sanctuary...a chair hammock swings beneath a broad and lush poinciana tree which faces a tiny garden of peace lilies, orchids, impatiens, ti plants, and other tropical greens...it is also an attractive sanctuary of sorts... for spiders. Crab spiders to be more exact. Unfortunately for me, they are drawn to this particular spot like spider magnets. And these are not just any spiders...oh no...these guys are...well, put it this way, they're really interesting to look at and hard to figure out. They're not like any spider you have ever seen before. They are small...but not too small, although smaller than the dreaded cane (which by the way have been curiously absent for the last 6 months), but they are...armored...yeah, that's what I'd call it. It's a hard outer shell, like a armadillo, or even more like a triceratops or stegasaurus. They've got this really creepy coat of armor on them. They're like some wierd prehistoric spider. And they spin webs everywhere. And not just any web...not some wimpy fragile web, these babies are huge and strong. You run into one of these and you spring back. It's like running into a web of fishing line. They bite too, these guys. Personally I haven't had the pleasure, but I've talked to some locals who can attest to quite a painful experience.


My guess is that these guys are just hanging around, minding their own business and just trying to catch a living. Just like everyone else. But they're everywhere and they are a huge nuisance. In every bush, path, tree, and in every other living thing. Even the babies have tiny little baby webs in my potted orchids where the geckos hang out. At least it's good food for the geckos. You know...that old circle of life thing. Anyways the geckos, as far as I'm concerned, have a lot of work to do. My sanctuary is a little too crowded for my liking.

Lia...for an extra spine chill, click on the picture to get a close up!!

Hey Cuzzin', What's Buzzin'?

Greasy Bryl creme laden hair, leather jackets, rolled up blue jeans, bobby socks, poodle skirts and horn-rimmed glasses. Greasers, yup...that's what we were, if only for an evening. We put the pedal to the medal, burned some rubber and created an evening to remember.

Eileen, our Sunday School Coordinator, enlisted my help (along with another girl) and together we put together a cool evening for the Christian Education staff and teachers. Our theme was the 50's...what a fun era to re-create!! We had so much fun creating an atmosphere with polka dots, LP's, old photos, and 50's music with Elvis Presley, Buddy Holly, Chubby Checker, Bill Haley & the Comets, Righteous Bros. and many more. Our focus was on creating a 50's style diner right down to a menu of burgers, fries, onion rings and root beer floats served by a bubble gum chewing waitress named "Flo". The 50's entertainment was provided by our very own DJ "Jumpin' Joe", who helped set the mood with old classics..."you ain't nothing but a hound dog...crying all the time...". Women rushed the stage as "Braddah" Elvis sang, security guards held back the crushing swarms, women screaming when he threw his slipper (flip flop) into the crowd. Rioting women fought over the slipper of Elvis. It was crazzzzyy!! What a riot!! Nostalgic 50's replica prizes were handed out to the winners of the bubble gum blowing, straw blowing, 50's karaoke, and hula hoop contests.

In appreciation of their service, every Christian Ed. teacher, aide and volunteer received an authentic 45 album with a recreated label...a coupon for a free breakfast and mocha freeze/smoothie from our local cafe...Common Grounds.

It's about time!!!

Aloha!!! After 8 months on the island I thought I could finally post something on our family blog. Forgive me in advance for not being as articulate as my beter half. Fact is after a day of which many hours are spent in front of a computer screen I'm often reluctant to get in front of another one you know?

Anyways, here is a Wow God moment for you. After pulling an all nighter in preparation for our Easter series at church (which begins this Sunday by the way) I walked into our regular staff meeting on Tuesday morning. I had spent several hours in a few passages of scripture that talked about the disciples call to drop their nets and follow Jesus. You may know the story "Follow me and I will make you fishers of men!" That morning I asked Alan one of my staff to read some scripture from a devotional booklet. Wouldn't you know it but the scripture assigned for that particular day from that particular devotional booklet was the very passage I had spent the night with just hours earlier!!

As we walk (or for those of you who live by the ocean wade) into the Easter season I pray that all of us begin to live a life that shows our God we are worthy of His call on our lives. Live with a Ressurection mindset my friends ... not just at Easter but every day God breathes life into you!!

Pastor Ed

My Blue Valentine

Uh, please pass the "comfort bag". I think I'm gonna be sick.

Dramamine, Bonine, no-name Superstore anti-emetic and anti-nauseant... whatever's in your medicine cabinet, you're gonna need it when you fly on one of these babies. No one "launched" during our flight (pun intended), but I think a few people were thinking about it.

Blue Hawaiian Helicopters, rated one of the best helicopter tours in Kauai. Cushy seats, huge windows, noise-controlling headsets, air conditioning and push button microphones to ask the pilot questions...like...could you turn around so I can get a shot of that? If you go, ask for the front seats, they are way-awesome. If they are taken, get the right side of the 'copter. That's where all the action is. Ed and I, mentioned we were kama'aina (locals with I.D. to prove it) and we were plopped right up front in seats #1 and #2. The best seats in the house. YAHOOO!!!

By far this has been my most extravagant and dramatic Valentine's day to date. A one hour mile-high (or more) adventure around the island exploring the inner most island secrets. Jurassic Park waterfalls and canyons...you could almost feel and hear the dinosaurs lumbering their way down the massive valleys to drink the pure thirst quenching liquid sunshine of the secret falls. The inner basin of long extinct Mount Wai'ale'ale's volcano crater. Dry from lack of rain, but during heavy rains.. known to look like the inside of a washing machine during the spin cycle. The majestic Na Pali coasts where every peak, jagged ridge and 1000 ft. cliff has been diligently carved out by the finger of God. It must have been like putty in his hands..but the results...in the words of our retired military pilot...are fan-TA-stic! Mama and baby whales dancing their first dance. See the footprint left behind Mama as she spouts. That's baby. Incredible!!

Honestly, it leaves you breathless and speechless. To see the beauty of God's creation, to fully understand that nothing goes on in this universe without his permission. Our greatest thoughts and actions are so feeble compared to the supremacy of God. In our ladies Bible Study, we've been studying the names of God. Last week was, El Elyon...supreme, sovereign Lord. He reigns over all...over everyone of us including the government, monarchy and not even Satan can act without beseeching the authority of God. That is FANTASTIC!!

The ride lasted an hour which was not nearly long enough...it could've easily been another 1/2 hour. However, the men who were green were glad to have their landlegs back.

The remainder of the day was very relaxing, but ended with a scrumptious dinner at Cafe Portofino. A waterfront restaurant in the port of Nawiliwili with lanai overlooking the ocean and inside...lush italian decor right down to the marble floors and dreamy live harpist. The restaurant appeared to be run by the Italian mafia. (just a joke) Every male employee had a thick italian accent and slicked back black hair. The restaurant seemed surprisingly absent of any other ethnicnicity beside haole which seemed strange as the Asians make up for at least 60-70% of the island's population. For appetizers we had an enormous portobello mushroom stuffed with tender hunks of steak(and I do mean, hunks) and drizzled with a bernaise sauce and a red wine sauce. YUM!! The salad was a mixed green salad with cucumbers, tomatoes, pine nuts, a brick of goat cheese (deep fried) with a creamy house dressing. For the celiacs, I had to... *sob* give up my goat cheese... *sob*. That was torturous. The meal was divine although I was sure I was going to suffer. Grilled Mahi Mahi with a delicate lemon picatta sauce, fresh green beans and cheesy potatoes. And dessert, a light selection of triple sorbets...papaya, mango and passionfruit served in a stainless steel champagne glass. Light, refreshing and classy. A perfect experience for the delicate palate.

(And for my celiac family...best of all, no real pain. Just some gurgling.)


**A HUGE MAHALO to our anonymous sponsors of the day. What a fabulous time we had!!**