How Much Can It Hold?

Nobody has ever measured, not even the poets, how much the heart can hold. ~Zelda Fitzgerald

This quote was sent to us by some wonderful friends from the Makarusa Missionary Church. It really struck me as it encapsulates how Ed and I feel on a day to day basis.

We've had so many challenges these last few weeks...and have also successfully realized the payoffs of hard work. And then...these last few days....oy....Ben experienced a dramatic regression. The delusional thoughts came back and along with them, the entrapment of a 12 year old boy ensnared by an illogical brain. With no warning, we were back to square one. ARG.........WE HAD MADE SUCH GOOD PROGRESS!!

Oh God, how many times Lord, can we cry out...

With the Risperdal once again administered and the fight back on, Ben and his parents are learning (it is SO hard) to fight back against the taunts of OCD in its severest form. He has to learn to label OCD as the "bad part" of his brain and verbally talk back to it telling it to go away. Once he can successfuly overcome these horrible thoughts presented by OCD, he can overcome its lies.

Ben was scheduled for a 4 hour outing this afternoon with our family, but the nursing staff are currently unable to confirm the physician's request. With the regression, we don't know if it will be honored. And so at this point we don't know if he'll be able join us outside the hospital.

As for Alyson, we are enjoying our time with her. Yesterday, she and I went to the Honolulu Zoo and Aquarium for the afternoon to relax and forget about life for awhile. Today...well...we were hoping to complete the family with a fun afternoon. That remains to be seen.